reach me

grieving
just
hold me
don’t
tell me
how to
be
feeling
please
receive me
no words
just
keep me

 

imagine “social security”:
that vulnerability is the most radiant thing that shines in any exchange
that one way of mending the knots brought upon the world through the normalization of abuse and trauma (and the obscurity of a history written on the backside of these acts – the effects of which still ripple in effect in so many subtle ways) is the re-arrangement of intimacy and pure communing:
without judgement; without a persuasion against that feeling;
listening completely
and just receiving
simply witnessing
so much of the illusion that spun ‘relatability’ is conjured from control: the anticipation of a reaction or the anxiousness of an expectation –
that these parameters must exist in such a way to condition us to be comfortable
social security ~
the impacts of abandonment as the language we were taught and how we carry ourselves when we are re-acting / re-enacting our history / when you’re without real community and you’re spun up in some performative gestures that gaslight your own feeling and gaslights the stories delivered from others:
and this reflects from an observation I made in the way that we carry ourselves through an experience when we are passive in our communications: the story of what we could have done, and what we didn’t do, to listen with a particular discernment to the fragile vulnerability being displayed with us ~
or spinning that yarn to entangle the other
because you refused the discomforts of your accountability:
and instead of helpful, communal support
there is a criticism
there is a selfish
entitlement and indifference
shaped by the mending of truths set aside beneath performative social security
When everything is vulnerable
is at the bend of any will
and what do we do with that most fragile and precious thing
that which sets us
not apart
but a part
of the greater thing
on being

and I can only influence what is around me: before me: within me.
there is no pedestal here:
‘I’ am not me:
it is we;
it is the arrangement of every one accordingly
woven and weaving

and learning a new way to speak is imperative to the journey
evolving with the information that arrives collectively
but most importantly we are learning to be listening
without that false narrative choked
on false social security ~
and in doing so, by acknowledging, giving ourselves
into the necessary boundaries for personal protection
and safe participation ~ the kind that is guarded but
revealing, through grieving, through Seeing:
Experiencing Clearly.

we are discovering
new ways to speak
new ways to tell our stories
our true, authentic, stories
new ways to dream the future
new ways to be here
renewal renewal renewal

the r(evolution) is touch
is sensation
is wholehearted completely loving
listening

receiving